New Bruensfel, San Marcos, and Gruene

Took off after a wild week of test with Debra. On the 19th we went in to see a doctor about a condition that Debra may have it's called Cataplexy. She'll have to have a sleep study done after being of all medications for 2 weeks. That's gona be rough on her and it's already taking it's tole. She didn't have to stop till Monday but went ahead two days sooner stopping the medications. No more anti depressants till we find out and if so no more ever. It's a long shot but we have to keep trying to find out why she is having these falling spells and is so co dependent and can't do things for herself. If the medications they give for this works she'll see some real results in about 2 weeks after being on it. Lot's to think about but she could have been misdiagnosed for these past 10 years. I don't really care what others think about this and frankly I am a little keyed that no body really cared to find the truth they are more interested in making judgement calls. Anyway that's all spilled milk now and if the doctors we have searched out can help then life will be better for everybody.

Had a great week end away in New Braunsfel, San Marcos and Gruene. We stayed at the Days Inn and it turned out not to be a bad place. Got the room by bidding on Priceline.com. It's right in the heart of everything and the room was only $45 a night. Don't go if your looking for a swimming pool it's a little 10x10 but if you need a clean place to stay it's good. We went to the factory stores but didn't find any deals...... the real deals were at the "normal" stores. They have a good gimmick going it was packed but there are no steals to be had there. We looked at the down town area and drove all over there just checking out the houses and parks. New Brauns had it's tree lighting with Santa and we watched that with hot chocolate on the square, it was damp and cold but it felt like Christmas was coming. I hate they do that now before Thanksgiving but it's a sign of the times...shop shop shop longer longer and longer. No thank you I don't think I will. I think I am going to enjoy this Christmas because I am not doing that! I am spending some money going to Moody Gardens Hotel to see a live show on Christmas Eve and spending Christmas day at the hotel our only big ticket item. Not having family to share Christmas with doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Same thing at Thanksgiving you just have to find a way to enjoy it. Lap bandits don't really get a kick out of cooking tons of food. Plus who would eat it? I am going to the store today to pick up the freshes of fresh in the veg. department. A small turkey for the rotisserie and a ham with some fresh cranberry sauce. I think we'll do just fine. We went to see a movie called the Blind Side it was great and Roland loved it and he usually doesn't say to much but he really liked this one. We ate at a fancy special occasion steak house called Myron's Steakhouse on Caldwell Street. Very good but pricey pricey. We were going to the New Braunsfel Smoke House for breakfast but they were closed! We ate at Clear Springs Catfish and it had some great onion rings for a dinner. Fish was okay but not great like at Florida's in Livingston. Gruene had the Old Market Days going on and they had some good vendors with different stuff. It was pretty good. Small but good. The Gruene Mansion has become the Gruene Grill with more layed back but still very nice dining. They have built a lot of stuff there since I was there last and it's really quite a good time to go there. One thing I didn't find was the River House Tea Room. Maybe next time. Seems we did a lot of walking, eating, and looking this trip. It was enjoyable to get away. Cinny is getting old and she is down in the hips so it was kind of hard to leave her without knowing how she would do but she was fine. Freedom just is a puppy puppy puppy but doing pretty good on the potty training.

I will be seeing the doctor also soon. I have to have some test done for hypothyroidism. Seems that I get rally cold and can't warm up, dry skin and nails, confusion, dizziness, chest pains. Oh well it's got to be something I can't have nothing forever I guess. I have been blessed with very good health I thank God for that everyday. With all I have done to myself it's a wonder it hasn't really failed.

Well that's it for now I have to get some things done around here and the computer loves to eat my days up. There are bills to pay and people to please so I better get a move on it.....so until next time this is Vickie signing off........

Changing gears

I used this blog for prayers for a long time but I am changing gears. So those of you that know me I know your saying so what's new about that? I know I jump around like a frog there is no questions about that. I guess I think there is an answer somewhere to that missing link......... Today I am taking Debra to a doctor that knows about a condidtion called cataplexy. It's not a mental condition at all and has to do with neurology. I have to give her credit for doing a lot of research in looking for a doctor that might really be able to help us. There is sometimes a break in the line of dissappointments. I am hopeful here for some small bit of information that might help us along our way. I have to be honest I had run out of ideas. Much has been done in the past MRI's, medications, studies, trips to India, counselors, test test and more test. People do go misdiagnosed for years but if you do find the answers what a gift of life that is. So for Christmas this year I am not giving gifts I am putting the thousands of dollars I spend at Christmas into these test for hope for my daughter. I know that all of her natural fathers side of the family had massive problems with health issues. Much of it covered up by self medications. I have always been trusting in the Lord for answers and now I am trusting even more. I have prayed it into his hands many times but that doesn't mean we don't have to take some action as well. Church has been the glue that has kept me mentally and spiritally sound for the past 15 years. Today I am still putting my faith in God for the right direction but I am not going to continue in the same manner as I have in the past. I think today I am going to be still and know that God is in control. I have always thought stay active in church and maybe God see you more, he'll know your working with Him you had to be visiable. That's something I thought that's maybe not so true. I am stepping away taking a deep breath and laying down my problems at the foot of the cross. I am not going to do anything until I am sure I know it's what the Lord would want. I have to listen not to people but to the softer sound of the Lord. I listen to a song on the radio that says what a crime it would be to live this life not knowing if I had given everything. So ......I am working on knowing. Instead of spending hours reading the bible which I have read, and going to church. I am going to start researching medical options. Working with people who might be able to help me. I find it crushing as I hear the talk about we are our brothers keepers but when it comes to dealing with the darker side of things I find it's easier just not to look to deeply into the matter it's a surface glance of words like "I'm praying for you" I am glad that people are praying don't get me wrong. It's a comfort to know people are praying. Anyway with all that said I am changing gears in hope of an answer for this tiny 3 part family.

Eye Surgery

Roland had his eye surgery today and it went much better this time than the last. They gave him some medication for nausea before he went in and it did wonders. He was pretty freaked out by what happened last time. I made sure to tell them where he had not. Somedays I wonder about wondering about. Regina has been on the phone with me and we are still trying to work the bugs out of this job it's not really a job that I think I will be able to handle long term. It's to string bean. I think that they work in ways that I just don't think are acceptable to normal working habits. I need some work to help with Debra's medical testing but Lord isn't there something better to do than make myself crazy?? It's all for the money. I hope that I can focus my attentions and do whatever it is that I need to do.

I keep praying for days to be shorter and now I guess they are. I keep praying for life to be easier and I guess it is. Plan on spending a day on the lake this coming week-end and that will refresh all of us. Just want to sit on a deck watch the birds and the water. I love doing that. Just plain everyday life works for me.

Got to go give Roland his drops now..........

Busy Busy

Some days I just have to shake my head where am I going and what am I doing. It's all just one big blur. Roland is at the church and I am thinking its been days since I took time to jounal my prayers. Still praying for Mark Goode for my kids and for many many other things. I think it's time to be grateful that the good Lord fools with me at all. I truely am just one big mess. I really dont know how things are going to go with Debra's test but I am making every effort to make sure she gets the medical care she needs. It really puts your back to the wall trying to make choices. God helps me and he gives me the right words sometimes but sometimes it really feels pretty lonely. Even though I know no matter what happens the Lord will someday make all of this right. I never really understood why some people have to suffer so much and others just dance through life. Right now my arm is bleeding and I don't even want to wipe it up. Sad. Looking forward to a week-end on Lake Livingston with Roland and seeing the Kays. Haven't had a down week-end in a while. I am glad that Roland is working at the building and making friendships there. Our lives really are very blessed, This job even though it's stressful is providing needs and it's letting me know just how much I miss my friends and my freedom. When I have it back I will treasure it. Long hours hard work it's all going to be with it and I will be back at the church soon enough. The Lord never takes me from there for to long. I have had to take these breaks before but he always sees me home............