Changing gears

I used this blog for prayers for a long time but I am changing gears. So those of you that know me I know your saying so what's new about that? I know I jump around like a frog there is no questions about that. I guess I think there is an answer somewhere to that missing link......... Today I am taking Debra to a doctor that knows about a condidtion called cataplexy. It's not a mental condition at all and has to do with neurology. I have to give her credit for doing a lot of research in looking for a doctor that might really be able to help us. There is sometimes a break in the line of dissappointments. I am hopeful here for some small bit of information that might help us along our way. I have to be honest I had run out of ideas. Much has been done in the past MRI's, medications, studies, trips to India, counselors, test test and more test. People do go misdiagnosed for years but if you do find the answers what a gift of life that is. So for Christmas this year I am not giving gifts I am putting the thousands of dollars I spend at Christmas into these test for hope for my daughter. I know that all of her natural fathers side of the family had massive problems with health issues. Much of it covered up by self medications. I have always been trusting in the Lord for answers and now I am trusting even more. I have prayed it into his hands many times but that doesn't mean we don't have to take some action as well. Church has been the glue that has kept me mentally and spiritally sound for the past 15 years. Today I am still putting my faith in God for the right direction but I am not going to continue in the same manner as I have in the past. I think today I am going to be still and know that God is in control. I have always thought stay active in church and maybe God see you more, he'll know your working with Him you had to be visiable. That's something I thought that's maybe not so true. I am stepping away taking a deep breath and laying down my problems at the foot of the cross. I am not going to do anything until I am sure I know it's what the Lord would want. I have to listen not to people but to the softer sound of the Lord. I listen to a song on the radio that says what a crime it would be to live this life not knowing if I had given everything. So ......I am working on knowing. Instead of spending hours reading the bible which I have read, and going to church. I am going to start researching medical options. Working with people who might be able to help me. I find it crushing as I hear the talk about we are our brothers keepers but when it comes to dealing with the darker side of things I find it's easier just not to look to deeply into the matter it's a surface glance of words like "I'm praying for you" I am glad that people are praying don't get me wrong. It's a comfort to know people are praying. Anyway with all that said I am changing gears in hope of an answer for this tiny 3 part family.