Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson

Sometimes you get little hints along the way that it's not the time to stand down. It's not the time to rest. I don't really know why but all along life has shown me keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what just keep moving forward. Never look back. Forgetting the past and moving on is one of the best blessing in this life. For a long time I prayed on this blog but stopped or marked them private but someone said do what you did in the beginning. Well now doesn't that make sense? It was working great. Why did you stop? I think prayer not only bonds our hearts to God's will but seals our own minds as to what we should do and hope for. God isn't the only one who hears our prayers we hear them, too. Our deepest needs are opened in prayers, our hopes are brought to the surface, our dreams are laid out in detail. We pray it and the Holy Spirit can help us have the strength to move on it, guide it and make it possible. What hold us back is us. So today I am going back to the start. I am going to start praying here because it takes some time it gives me a place to reflect and it holds me accountable to do it. Short prayers, oral prayers, all good as well but here I dig in deep, sit still and stay calm. It's really hard for me to sit still, to focus, to not let my mind wonder to different subjects. So lets get started today Jan, 18, 2010 at 9:30 a.m.

Dear Heavenly Father

My Master, Leader and King I am here to worship, to start a life a prayer, to bow down, to lay all that I have at Your feet. I know that there are times when the unspeakable will happen the heartaches will come and the down falls of depression will mask the glory that You want for all your children. When it seems a bit dim I am thankful that the cloud do part and the sun does shine again for those who just keep loving You. I have very little understanding of the word "why". I see pain most everyday in things I have no ability to change, or even deal with rationally. I take a deep breath and slow down but it doesn't change the heartaches. Only in You can I make any reason out of it. I understand this is a walk a journey back to You and I have to cling everyday to that thought. I had to realize that even in the Church there lies a danger when we take our eyes off of you to see the problems that surround us. Father, keep my eyes on You and Your will for my life. I can be so easily distracted. Programs and projects all have a place but it is You and Your will that should hold us firm in everyday of our life. Not what we are doing, or what we are about doing. Those things shall all pass away, in a heartbeat anything that a man's hands have done can be snapped away without a second thought, a storm, a car wreck, a fire. We are weak vessels with limited ability but You calm our hearts and let us know that in You there is still hope no matter what happens and dark days will not rule us. Our work here is for hope, to spread it to share it and to live in it. Blessed be the provider of that hope, those who can stay on task when it's hard, when it's not easy and those who hold the life line out to others when they fall away.

Each and everyday there is a list of concerns, Father my name falls to that list. I have petty concerns that have kept me in a state of limbo. Clear my head Father I know my task here. I know my work let me go about doing it Father without concern. You have given to me a strong heart, a passion for others and a caring will do not let me hold those at bay when I could be helping someone in need just because I am not so sure of myself. Others that need You and Your watch are Aubree and Ayden Fall for respiratory problems, Mark Goode as he serves our country, Blanch Rieck and Flossie Fritsch as old age befalls them and the problems that go with that. Be with our expecting mothers, our young parents, those that tend to the sick. Watch over Glen and Peggy, Lexi and those involved with them at this time. Soften the heartaches for them and let a more positive outcome come into their lives. Be with Glen's surgeries and keep Peggy strong for her husband and be with their marriage. Be with Judy Foster and the needs she has. Keep us all in the body of Christ under Your watch and care.

A deeper request goes for our elders and their wives. The task they have is overwhelming. They are only men and in such making choices men might make so give them answers Father for they pray these matters of the church into Your hands. They are gifted men and among our choice as a church. We have as a body said these men were the best to represent us, we chose them to be our foundation so help them to help us. Give them the bold voice they need to lead, let them not grow weary with dealing with our slowness to respond to a new path. Keep them strong in faith and spirit and bless the work they do. It is never easy to deal with the problems that face a church so give them extra concern for their thoughts and needs that affect all of the body. These men and their wives: David Ellis, Kim Ellis, Harold and Linda Allen, Bo and Shirley Cox, Bill and Jane Hana, Mike and Liz Miller they have committed to watch after my soul to be my guide and to keep me in Your light. So with that task of me and the many others that's lives they touch please let them press on to the goal with Your backing and Your support for the things that they do whether good or bad it affects many souls that are in Your attendance and should be kept in Your attendance. The job is not easy so always an extra portion for the work that is at hand for these men. Also Father guide them to find a Youth Minister that is worthy to lead. Give us a person who will guide us and not let harm come to the youth of our church. We ask boldly in the name of Jesus for a name who is a cut above the rest to give some foundation that is much needed at this time. Trust worthy and strong to rebuild our youth group.

Lord, I ask that you watch over matters and concerns with Darla,
Steven, Amber and Big Mike. Let the problems be resolved, help Amber find work and let school be a refreshing experience for Micheal. Give them everything needed to be on solid ground. Help them to not be stressed with each other, help them to be kind and focused on the needs they have to be a better and stronger family unit. All of us Lord need Your watch as we help our children and grandchildren find a firm foundation in life.

Father, Roland and I are stepping out of our comfort zone to help someone. It could be a very productive thing but then again it could cause harm. You can never really know what results your actions will have so bless our efforts and keep those who are in harms way safe. Let us do the right thing and choose the right motives. Work hand in hand with us Father because only you can see and know the hearts of those involved. We can only do what you lay upon our hearts to do and we hope we can do it without reservation or fear.

We pray it all into the working knowlege You have for us. Keep us safe, Father for it is in the Glory of Your son's name that we pray. To the victory that is in Chirst Jesus for the love of all mankind. Amen 10:33 a.m.